This is my friend Carol who I adore. She’s in one beautiful person in my circle and she belongs there.
Recently, I joined a fitness/diet circle and I realized that it was the wrong circle. Why should it matter you ask? Well it does matter? Yes!!!!!
In this circle, that I recently joined, most of the people in the group were just starting to diet, beginning to exercise and trying to lose weight.
I’m trying to lose weight too, but this group would never understand. I’m trying to get from 19% body fat to 15%, a difficult feet for a woman. The lowest I’ve ever been was 17%. I already have a muscular physique and they are just beginning.
The group wanted you to post what you ate daily and what kind of exercise you did. The diet they recommended was a 1200 calorie diet which wasn’t enough to sustain the lifestyle I had. I work out approximately 2 1/2 hours a day with cardio and weights, six days a week. Exercise is second nature to me. My calorie intake has to be at least 2000 calories a day minimum. If I started posting what I did, I would be pissing off all these people.
They were posting a 20 minute walk, and their diet was a diet that I could not realistically follow, etc.
You get my jist on this? So I opted out.
Friends are the same way in some ways. If you’ve got several interests, obviously, you probably have different friends that fill that interest. I have some friends into the gym, some into art and some with similar career minded individuals. Why is this important? Because you need people that you can bounce off ideas. Most importantly, you must be with people that are within the same level of you in every interest that you have.
I’ll give you an example. I have a bachelor’s degree in fine art. I went to one of those paint by numbers and eat dinner things by Groupon for fun. I painted in a seemingly more advanced way than most of the people because I had been painting for the past 20 years. I understand shadow and perspective and color. In reality, I was not painting by numbers, but by experience. One girl asked me If I’ve done this before, and I said no because I didn’t want to be outed (and I meant the painting by numbers thing). She seemed angry at me for some reason because she said she’s gone to a lot of those things. I didn’t consider it a real class because it was not teaching you anything. Anyway, again, I needed to be with people more on my level, who have been painting close to the time I have to truly learn something.
With friends, you want people at your level. Why? I think because it’s unhealthy to be in a relationship where one person is in a lot lower level than you or you a lot lower than them unless you are in a teaching relationship. That is not a friendship, but an agreement between teacher/student.
I always talk about the pessimists and the negators of success or sometimes they call themselves realists. Some realists believe that their negative reality is real. We all have these negative people in our lives and sometimes they are our parents, our brothers and sisters, our friends and our colleagues. I believe that you must keep your distance as much as possible from them or if you have to be around them, take their advice lightly. They can suck every last hope you have out of you. The real reality is that success is actually possible but without belief you will never get there. You have to be choosy about our friends and that includes friends that can be clingy, or possessive, or create too much unnecessary drama in your life. Consider your time precious. You cannot be friends with everyone and that’s it. It’s not cruel. It’s selective and it’s your life. Those people will find other people to hang out with. This is a big wide world. Remember that. People who act like they need you are developing an unhealthy codependent relationship.
How do you start believing in success in anything if you don’t have those type of people around you? I got a reading list for you. Start reading some of these one at a time and start finding people close to your level… positive people. See below:
- How to Win Friends and Influence People (Paperback)
by Dale Carnegie
- Rich Dad, Poor Dad (Paperback)
by Robert T. Kiyosaki
- The Richest Man in Babylon (Paperback)
by George S. Clason
- Magic Of Thinking Big (Paperback)
by David J. Schwartz
- The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams (Hardcover)
by Deepak Chopra
- Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time (Paperback)
- The 80/20 Principle: The Secret to Achieving More with Less (Paperback) by Richard Koch
- How to Win Friends and Influence People (Paperback
by Dale Carnegie
I know some of these might sound a little too motivational for some but maybe that’s what you need. Think about it. Don’t surround yourself with people who suck the life out you. It’s your life.
Think about it.